Figuring Out Life’s Big Question – What Was I Made For?
One chilly evening in July 2023, I came across a song that deeply moved me, as it did many others. I attended a Barbie Blowout event at my local movie theater, opting to go solo to watch the film. While it was a fun experience with everyone dressed in pink and Barbie merch, I was unexpectedly touched by Billie Eilish's "What Was I Made For?" during one of the scenes. It was a moment that brought tears to my eyes, as I found myself deeply moved by the lyrics crafted by Billie Eilish and Finneas O'Connell. The track has received critical acclaim and won numerous awards, including the Academy Award for 'Best Original Song' and the Grammy for 'Song of the Year.' It has been streamed over 730 million times on Spotify alone.
The song starts with, “I used to float, now I just fall down / I used to know, but I’m not sure now / What I was made for / What was I made for?” These words express feelings of disillusionment and self-doubt that set the tone for the rest of the song, which further explores themes of dread and disorientation. "I used to float; now I just fall down" suggests the loss of ease that was once had, where things were once in a carefree state and are now one of struggle, ultimately symbolizing a loss of confidence or direction in one’s life. "I used to know, but I’m not sure now" reflects a loss of certainty or clarity. Eilish sings about losing her once clear understanding of her purpose and feeling confused and uncertain. The lyrics, "What I was made for / What was I made for?" then pose the existential question about one’s purpose or meaning in life. The track brings forth that existential doubt that most people at one point or more in their lives, go through. What am I living for, and what was I put on this earth to do? Listening to the song had me honing in on the struggle of finding one’s true life purpose.
Growing up in church, I specifically remember Sunday school services where we would talk about God’s purpose for our lives and how to find it so we could live our lives with direction. Regardless of one’s religion, finding your purpose is something that we as humans strive for, as it gives us something to help guide our lives and provide meaning. As humans, we look for meaning in pretty much anything, whether big or small. Research suggests that having a sense of purpose can lead to a stronger sense of identity. Additionally, people who cultivate a sense of purpose tend to have better physical health, greater job satisfaction, and overall life satisfaction. Having a purpose provides meaning to our lives, but it’s more than just that, hence, as humans, we long for and strive to find our purpose. Almost four years ago, the Cato 2019 Welfare, Work, and Wealth National Survey found that “83% of Americans agree that: “I feel like I have purpose in my life; my life has meaning,” while 16% disagree. A little less than half (46%) “strongly agree” and 37% somewhat agree their lives have meaning.”
In the end, discovering our purpose is an ongoing journey that we must embrace, as it will evolve with our growth and experiences. Whether we're grappling with it in moments of existential crisis or pursuing it with fervor, the pursuit of purpose is a universal journey. As I reflect on my journey, I realize that understanding one's purpose is not a destination but a continuous unraveling—what I once saw as my purpose at 16 has evolved into something entirely different at almost 25. Perhaps it’s the wisdom gained from the nearing completion of my frontal lobe development (I'm joking, but who knows). Billie Eilish’s poignant outro, "Think I forgot how to be happy / Something I'm not, but something I can be / Something I wait for / Something I'm made for / Something I'm made for," depicts the journey of rediscovering happiness and purpose in life. It acknowledges that the process may be challenging but expresses hope and determination to find it again. We have to embrace this journey as we navigate the complexities of existence, for it holds the essence of our humanity and the promise of a meaningful existence.
