No One Has It Figured Out
Everyone says, “You don’t have to have it all figured out; you’re still so young. You’ll figure it out.” And if we’re being real, we probably all heard this for the first time when we were 18, and it’s been said to us for years beyond that. Even now, almost seven years later, I still hear it. The truth is that it doesn’t actually bring any reassurance to the person who is expressing these feelings. Feeling like you have no sense of direction isn’t fun. At 17 or 18, I was set on studying Clinical Psychology, but after diving into Psychology during the International Baccalaureate Diploma program, I realized it wasn’t for me. I then considered Political Science, having enjoyed Global Politics, but it didn’t feel right when applying to universities in the UK and the U.S.
At 17, I started writing for an online publication after a friend got a staff writer position. This was where I began to feel a sense of direction. I wrote about pop culture, interviewed people like Ava DuVernay, Jaafar Jackson, and Storm Reid, and even attended the Black Panther European Premiere. Thriving in this space, I was doing things I had never imagined, and I was just an 18-year-old in sixth form studying for my IB exams. Despite this passion, I initially chose to study public relations at Syracuse University, which I later regretted. I switched to magazine journalism at the start of my sophomore year. I absolutely loved journalism school but struggled with imposter syndrome so much, despite being an average A/B student and graduating with honors. The obvious path would have been to pursue a career in journalism, but that’s not the route I chose. Given the uncertainties in the job market, it’s all up in the air anyway.
I began reflecting on my life’s trajectory (which is a daily occurrence at this point) and I’ve noticed how many people seem to struggle with uncertainty. This became especially clear after seeing numerous TikTok videos using a soundbite from Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation. Scarlett Johannson’s character says in the scene, “I just don't know what I'm supposed to be. You know? I tried being a writer, but I hate what I write, and I tried taking pictures, but they’re so mediocre. You know? and every girl goes through a photography phase, you know?” The comments on these videos echoed feelings of inadequacy and confusion about one’s path: “Literally feel so stuck and behind watching everyone know what they wanna do with their life and I’m stuck and have no clue what I'm even doing,” “I feel like everything I do is so mediocre,” and “Wanting to be everything but nothing all the same.”
This made me realize that our careers often become overly central to our identities. Society places such a strong emphasis on professional success and advancement that everything often feels secondary. The intense pressure to measure our worth by career achievements can overshadow other important facets of life that make you uniquely you. It’s essential to recognize that a fulfilling life encompasses much more than your career.
It’s perfectly normal to feel unsure about your life, especially in your twenties, as you navigate post-grad life, relationships, and career goals. However, this uncertainty isn’t confined to any specific age group. The reality is, this is our first and only stab at life. We’re all experiencing it for the first time. If you find yourself starting over at 30, 40, 50, or beyond, that’s completely okay, even if it may not feel like it. Life is inherently unpredictable, and your circumstances can change at any time. You might have things figured out at one point and then find yourself uncertain again, and that’s perfectly fine.
Embracing uncertainty and understanding that life is a series of trials and errors makes the process of “figuring things out” a little bit easier. But if I’m being honest, I don’t think we need to have everything figured out, and I don’t think we ever will. It’s human nature to always long for more, and with the unpredictability of life, we’re always going to be figuring things out. So explore, grow, and continue learning. Make those mistakes and take hold of the one life you have.
