To Move Or Not To Move: Post-Grad Living

“Bet you can’t wait to move out, huh?”

“Stay home as long as you can, it’s not worth moving out.” 

“Don’t you want the freedom of your own place?”

“You should be grateful your parents let you come back home.”

“Don’t take advantage of your parents for too long.” 

These are just some of the many things I heard leading up to my college graduation in 2022 and for the two years post-grad I spent living at home with my parents. Moving back home was a privileged personal choice based on so many factors. The flexibility of my remote job, a strong desire to remain close to family, fears about living alone, and rising rent prices in New York—the list goes on and on. What I learned during that time was threefold: 

• Everyone will have their own opinions on what you do and how you do it.

• Only you know what you need.

• There is no correct way to do post-grad life, especially in post-grad living situations.

Society often expects individuals to move out as soon as possible after college. We’ve all heard of the “adult child living in the basement” trope, and there can be constant pressure from internal and external sources. Sometimes, circumstances such as job location, familial relationships, one’s financial situation, or other factors make moving out or staying home non-negotiable. 

The stigma has begun to shrink, partially due to the astronomical rent prices throughout the United States and the tumultuous job market, but as the opening of this article implies, there is still much work to be done. 

And it all starts with transparency. 

As overwhelming as it sounds, it’s true. There are countless options that all come with their pros and cons. When I set out to write this article, my goal was to interview individuals to showcase the diverse experiences of post-grad living. Initially, I worried that many would be hesitant to share their stories. To my surprise, I received over a dozen responses to my post on Instagram Stories, with participants incredibly eager to share their experiences in hopes of further destigmatizing non-traditional paths after graduation. 

What didn’t surprise me, however, was the uniqueness of each story. 

Nearly everyone I spoke with moved back home after graduation, with some still living there years later. For many recent graduates, moving back home provides an opportunity to recalibrate, save money, and prepare for the future. Jessie Anderson, a Lafayette College graduate, stayed home for a few months, while Hannah Goodacre, also a Lafayette graduate, spent two years at home. Both now live with significant others and are highly aware of the personal impacts of their choices.

Living at home at first was a huge financial boost for Goodacre, but moving out also had its perks, including a shorter commute and improved family boundaries. She didn’t realize “exactly how much time back” she would have living closer to work, but she also didn’t realize how difficult it would be “seeing and scheduling time with family” now that they do not share a roof. 

Anderson loves the liveliness of a culturally rich city like Atlanta and all the experiences it has to offer, but moving so far from family left her homesick for Connecticut, and those who remained there. “I missed my family…it was so hard to watch all my loved ones live life without me back home,” shared Anderson. For her, “time, therapy, and making new friends” were essential in navigating the transition.

Lindsey Mauriello and Helena VanNatter, who both graduated in 2022, initially moved back home to save money while looking for a job. Even when both secured jobs—Mauriello working at a family publishing house and VanNatter at a district attorney’s office, finances still impacted their choice to remain at home. “Even now that I have a full-time job, I don't make enough money to move out,” VanNatter explained, sharing a reality that many face in this challenging job and housing market. 

Mauriello, like many who move back home, still pays rent to her parents. “It is vastly cheaper than what a landlord would be expecting. Especially in and around NYC, where I currently live,” she explains.

Others, like Jessica Landry, who graduated from Lafayette College with a B.S. in Civil and Environmental Engineering, have long-term plans. “[I plan] to purchase a home once I can afford a down payment,” she says, considering remaining at home until such a goal is achievable. “[I am] aiming to do this by the time I am 30, ideally a little sooner than that.” 

Moving back home post-grad is also not a new occurrence reserved for Gen Zers. Michael Aronson, a 2007 Experimental Film grad from UMass Amherst, moved back home to live with his separated parents and brother before attending graduate school at Chapman University. Following that, he made the big move to LA, where he adopted a revolving door of roommates, which he views as “a financial decision.” 

Photo by Paul Deetman

Julie Chotivatanapong always intended to move back home after college to prepare for medical school, similar to Aronson’s experience. However, after her father’s unexpected passing, living at home became important for both financial and emotional support. Chotivatanapong aimed to start studying at the end of the year, but her plans shifted when a new opportunity landed on her lap. 

“My plans changed again when my former research mentor, Dr. Susan Wong, a nephrologist at the University of Washington, contacted me in January 2022, about seven months after I graduated," Chotivatanapong shared. “She offered me a part-time research position as one of her Research Study Coordinators. I happily accepted this job offer and worked remotely from my home in Maryland, balancing my time between work and studying for the MCAT.” Chotivatanapong will be moving to West Virginia for medical school, intentionally remaining close to her family in Maryland. 

Moving out alone can also be a beneficial and fulfilling experience, no matter how far one goes. For these 2022 graduates, Katie Miceli from the College of Charleston and Shannon Dyke from Lafayette College, having a place to call their own has been invaluable. 

Dyke, who lives close to her parents and childhood home, values their proximity but equally cherishes her independence. The distance allows her to engage in private activities, such as therapy sessions and conversations with friends, without the risk of eavesdroppers. “I gained back so much freedom…I also am really proud of the fact that I bought a house as a 23-year-old (even while understanding my privilege),” she shares. 

On the other hand, Miceli, a New Jersey native, moved to an apartment in Charleston, South Carolina, immediately post-grad. As a chronically ill high school special education teacher who faces daily overstimulation, she finds solace in her new home. “It’s really nice to come home after that to a place that is familiar where I can be alone and take some quiet time to decompress,” she explains. “[I can] take naps or eat at odd times, especially when I have flare-ups or medication changes.”

Sometimes, the external impacts of a living situation can catch you by surprise. Miceli discovered this firsthand when she told her students about the neighborhood she lived in. “[I] ended up having major street cred with my students who are in gangs when I told them what neighborhood I lived in,” she explains. “They automatically respected me more for living in the area…it worked for me when it came to building relationships with those students.”

Dyke acknowledges that while there are benefits to moving out alone, especially shortly after graduation, there are also important considerations. “Bills and responsibility must take precedence,” she notes, adding that sometimes “you have to skip the “fun” things for the practical.” However, she emphasizes, “This isn’t a problem…because I’m a homebody, but it’s definitely something you need to think about.”

Miceli shared that her independence has come with countless learning opportunities. “I’ve had to learn to do some things…like killing giant cockroaches, fixing a Keurig, and changing the batteries in a thermostat,” she shared.

As some people choose to move back home or move away, others went international! Adelaine Sherman, an Economics major who graduated from Lafayette College in 2022, decided to travel across Europe after graduation, before starting her Master’s in Human Resources Management at Georgetown University. 

“I could do a couple of semesters at Georgetown remotely, so for all of 2023 I had a goal of staying in 10 countries—I made it to 11!” She also cited that her job at a start-up offers flexible remote hours. “[It’s been the] best year of my life.”

As we wrap up these stories, I’ll leave you with this, dear readers: Do you. It is your story and your life, and there’s no one right way to do it. So live with pride, and no matter what door you open, tell yourself, “Honey, I’m home.”