Have you ever had birthday blues? Does your birthday come around every year and you’re stricken with fear, indecision, and/or anger? This is the place for you! Joseline Hernandez was absolutely right when she dropped “Live Your Best Life (Do It Like It’s Your B-day).” Baby, live your best life! I was also right when I wrote these words two years ago. In a podcast episode for “Her Own Words” titled “How NOT To have a Birthday Party”, I chronicle the planning and difficulties leading up to my 26th birthday. 

Many shenanigans and a bottle of absconded liquor later, I learned the value of living your best birthday life, despite birthday blues and mishaps. I ended that piece saying that I wouldn’t be planning for my later birthdays. For my 27th in May, I didn’t plan a single thing, but my sweet and supportive boyfriend did. So here is how I learned to let go and let someone else help me live it up on my birthday.

My goal this time around for 27 was to bring together the people I love with good food, drinks, and even better memories. I told my boyfriend of three years my idea and let him take it from there, and as a result, my 27th year began with freedom from the shackles of planning on my part and abounding love from those who have always celebrated me. Even if you don’t have a partner, I recommend seeing if a close friend wouldn’t mind coming up with a plan or helping to plan something for you. I gave my boyfriend a list of people I wanted to spend my day with, my choices for dinner plans, and told him about some activities I may be interested in, like the Tequila Festival I wanted to attend. The rest was on him, and he delivered. 

I had a lovely rooftop dinner at a popular elevated American restaurant in the heart of my city, and everyone secured tickets for the festival the next day. Dinner went off without a hitch. I had a mashup episode of friends, with a mixture of childhood, work, and college friends; it was practically cinematic. Everyone had a nice time and enjoyed each other. We even got a private room for free during the closing of one of the restaurants. The next day was the festival, and we were riding such a high after drinks and good conversations the night prior. The wind was knocked from my sails once arriving at the park where the festival was being held. I was almost in tears yet again when we got there because in true Atlanta fashion, the festival was giving scam. I was starting to have a sense of Déjà vu. Flashbacks to the previous year’s mishaps invaded my mind. 

When my friends and I were arriving, droves of people were leaving. They were saying there were no more tacos, and the line was an approximate 2-hour wait. I laid my head on my boyfriend’s chest in the middle of Piedmont Park, again devastated that I’d failed another birthday, even when I was supposed to be letting go. But, my friends came through with the save; they suggested lunch and a walk along the Beltline instead. As I apologized profusely, they poured into me, especially my boyfriend. They guaranteed that they were still having a great time. 

I perked up a bit after food and a walk, and that was it for my 27th birthday. I had eight to eleven of my closest friends and my loving boyfriend with me to celebrate another year around the sun. It reinforced the original thought that if I succeeded in gathering my friends and experienced something new with them that my birthday was exactly what it needs to be. A day full of memories and heartwarming moments. 

Life moves quickly, no matter the age. I find that even when I was in grade school, time seemed to take on warp speed. Then, throughout college, there were long days and longer nights. It felt like we had all the time in the world. Now, I’m in my career and so are most of my friends. More than ever, community and intentional meet-ups are a must. Despite any hiccups or disappointments, it’s about the people who show up and continue to choose you. 

Now, you may now be thinking: what if it’s just me? I understand that community can be hard to build, especially as we age. People are caught up in work, aging parents, illnesses, and everything else life brings. My suggestion? Choose yourself when it’s time for your birthday. Take yourself out and treat yourself how you would want someone else to treat you. Maybe you want to visit a new bookstore or try a new cafe, don’t be afraid to venture out on your own if you have to. It could even be as small as getting a cupcake and single candle for yourself. Life is hard, but birthdays don’t have to be. 

Whether you believe in birthday celebrations or not, it is always worth celebrating another day survived. Joy must be continually sought after as wars rage and billionaires hoard. In the worst of times, the pockets of joy will sustain you. So, take every opportunity for happiness, no matter how small.

Stay tuned for my 28th birthday and further beating the 30s scaries! In the meantime, I made a playlist so we can all party like it’s our birthday!